Voting Opens in Special Recall Election to Replace Skootish

Posted on: 2024-12-03 14:58:03

Washington, D.C. — December 3, 2024 — Voting is now open in a special recall election to determine the future leadership of the goonies, following weeks of campaigning. The election was prompted by the incumbent streamer's absence after leaving twitch to "grab milk" and failing to return. Now, four candidates—Blossom of Blossom’s Gamer League, game developer Pinapl, East Coast advocate Linkjag, and Skootish himself—are vying for the position.

Voting is being conducted via a Google Form link available to all members of the server. Every member is automatically registered and eligible to participate. The digital polls will remain open until 8 p.m. Eastern, giving all time zones the opportunity to cast their vote.

*Final Pre-Election Polls*

The Associated Press final pre-election standings poll reported:

Blossom: 56%
Skootish: 26%
Pinapl: 15%
Linkjag: 4%

Rexus News, polling opinions on progressiveness within the server community, also placed Blossom in the lead, with results showing:

Blossom: 56%
Skootish: 24%
Linkjag: 16%
Pinapl: 4%

*Key Campaign Moments*

Blossom’s campaign resonated with the server community, particularly with her rally speech, which emphasized her vision for the server's future. “Y’all are too kind,” Blossom said. “I do not deserve your relentless kindness, but y’all give it anyway. Truly, what a gift.”

While Blossom’s supporters rally behind her inclusive message, Skootish’s campaign has largely relied on past legacy. Although he has not actively participated in this election, his campaign still garners attention from nostalgic supporters hoping for a return to his leadership. However, many in the community have expressed anticipation for his hopeful return.

Linkjag’s platform focuses on a return to East Coast-based leadership, critiquing the streamer for abandoning the east coast after his move to Los Angeles. Meanwhile, Pinapl has kept a low-key, but steady, approach, referencing their contributions, like the Alnico Smithery game, to demonstrate their commitment to the server.

*Election Results*

Results will be announced shortly after the polls close. The victor will be tasked with addressing long-standing issues and helping chart a course for the server’s future.

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[note: this is a parody and does not represent or reflect the Associated Press, its affiliates, or anything that reflects its journalistic integrity]